Four little words

As the months turn into weeks, and the weeks into days, my 4 year old seems to really sense the change in the mood of all of us as we wait for my transplant. He has even asked after I come home from these last few doctors appointments if I "got my new engine yet?" Which kind of breaks my heart a little when I say no, and actually see that little glimmer of hope disappear, "but soon" I say, and he will smile again and run off like nothing ever happened. He says he will be happy when I can run and play with him... I agree, but I will be happy when the balance in our home returns and I become the true "Alpha" in the house again. hehee.
My son, as angelic as he is, can be quite the stinker! The only thing that I can (lovingly) compare him to is my cat Kaya. My cat HATES water and will go crazy trying to get away from a bath if he sees the opportunity. However, as long as I am quick, focused, calm, and keep one hand firmly planted on him at all times, he will sit patiently and take it -- and I will have no claw marks up my arm and down my back. River in his own way, waits for the same... He senses the weakness, slow and unfocused mom and the kid pounces. He knows that I can't catch him... and if I do, plan B is hunker down, because if I do catch him, there is usually no way that I am going to pick him up. --Although, he can get my adrenalin going and then is shocked at my cat like reflexes. teheheee. And THAT is when the 4 little words come in! The over dramatic "YOU DON'T LOVE ME"...Now, I know that it is normal, but the kid has no idea WHY it hits me as hard as it does right now. All he knows is that I was never a sucker for those tactics, and all of the sudden now -- I am.... and that's good news for a 4 year old.

So while I am a little worried about the (hopefully) little 2 weeks away from him and Jason... Part of me smiles a bit. This may be a little like boot camp for my stinker. Mentally I have always expected a lot from River, he really is a bright kid, but these last few months I have really slipped into a babying mode. Sometimes he even humors me and will let me (as he says) treat him like a baby and cuddle with me, but these last few weeks especially he has been taking it a little to far... and as you see below, Daddy don't play that. In my defense... A few years ago I wouldn't have thought this was so funny but now, there is a part of me that just laughs and another part of me that thinks to myself... it kind of looks like fun to play in your mashed potatoes, live life little one, DIG IN!!... Of course I try to only show the "this is totally unacceptable" mom face (as I take the picture) though I'm quite sure that he has picked up on the fact that when I turn my face and cover it, I am hiding a laugh.

It was tough (at first) to let Jason step in and start handling situations like this... and quite frankly I think he enjoyed it a bit much, but maybe... just maybe, River will be so happy when I come out of the hospital, that he will appreciate the "softer" side of mom and not abuse it so. teheheheee. Otherwise, it looks like a lot more of this...

...muwahahaha