Sunday, June 1, 2014

Sick girl for hire.

I got this lovely letter from social security yesterday. According to the government, you only need arms and legs to work, so I am fit for duty!
I knew when I walked into that chiropractors office for my social security "internist" appointment, and all he had me do was move my arms and legs, that I was in trouble. However, I was even more worried when he didn't seem to understand most of what I was saying, and after I listed off all of the side effects of my treatment, his eyes only seemed to flicker in recognition at the word "tired" at which point he pulled my eyelid down and declared, "You! anemic!"  Duh, I only mentioned I give myself procrit injections... Or did he miss that?
Of course it didn't help that I got Ms. Moore for my social worker. I knew right away with her too... It doesn't take a genius these technological days to find an address for a large hospital like Keck of USC, but apparently, my social worker does not use computers-- or phones. She sends letters (postmarked 7 days after her dated letter, stating I only have 10 days to return the information she requested.) asking for USC's address. Thank God I knew the answer, and her phone number.. And that was the least of my problems with her. There is someone who got into social work to really help people, right there.
So, apparently I'm ready to get back out into the work force. A few little things I should probably mention first. I can't really commute because I do tend to get sick, especially in the morning. (It's a little bit of a distraction while driving with my hands at 10 and 2, but my head in a bag.) Also, I can't move around too much or lift, on account of the fact that I am chronically anemic and also have gastroparesis, so I don't absorb nutrients which also makes me weak and quite dizzy. Speaking of the gastroparesis, eating is a tricky thing for me. Most days I am in the bathroom a lot, please don't mind the loud puking noises. (A bathroom is a requirement for me to work at your establishment) From time to time, you may have to come wake me from the bathroom floor, I tend to get especially weak after throwing up. Once I'm okay though, I will give my FULL 65%. However, I wouldn't recommend me working with money or numbers, on account of the "Brain fog."  I also can't do repetitive movements for long periods of time on account of the Rheumatoid arthritis that has been worsened by my treatment. My wrists and fingers swell and lock up pretty quickly now on the computer... I can give you a good 4 to 5 hours, tops of anything else though. (in between the vomiting, stretches, rest, and sometimes a stupor or two) Of course, after my work day, I will need someone to pick up my son, cook dinner, clean up a little, and maybe carry me to bed, because no matter what I do, any excursion will cause flu like symptoms for me into the next day. Guaranteed. I'm sure walking into your office and seeing my enthused and energetic face every morning (I make it in) will get you motivated for the day. Yes, for the last 5 or so years I would have made an awesome employee dancing to "Mr. Roboto" (in short intervals) or as an employee at the social security office. Hehehe. Maybe I shouldn't mention these things? Either way, if you think I sound like a perfect fit for your team, you know where to find me, either in the bathroom, or if in a 65% feeling moment, trying to compensate as a mother and wife.
I'm just kidding, guys... I'm not as upset as I sound, anymore... today. I am always quick to remember and beat myself up, because at least I have my arms and legs. :)