Sunday, May 9, 2010

I quit - I give up!!

Living for tomorrow that is.... hehehehe. A few weeks ago I had made a promise to myself, that I was going to revert back to my old ways if it killed me... I am just going to go with the flow. Now, I still have to conserve my spoons I realize, because I do pay for it 10 fold the next day... errrrr, week, but I have to stop beating myself up when I can't do anything but lay here, like this whole week for example. hehe.
For those of you who have forgotten my rants and raves these last few months, the Donate Life Family Festival at CSUF was May 1st. (Yes, I realize I am barely blogging about it now and I do apologize) It truly was an amazing and magical day. I was surrounded by so many beautiful people, sharing their stories on their loved ones they have lost but gifts they left, and the receivers... you could see the joy for life and true gratitude for their gifts. But I have been recovering from this little 1K walk since then. And I have to admit some of these days have been filled with me just sitting in my recliner, wide-eyed and listening to my heart loudly pounding in my ears... I think I am almost recuperated though. Oh, but I have had a few wicked nose bleeds this week, and my first one that scared me is included. I actually had to call 911 for this one... and I had to take the phone outside to do it (I think ahead... it's a lot easier to hose off of concrete.) It has really been a tough week guys.
Anywho, I took River outside, unlocked the gate, and sat down... I was getting woozy and by the time the fire truck arrived I had gone to tipping my head back, just because I didn't want to see blood coming out anymore. Once the bleeding was controlled, they checked my blood pressure - low, but instead of saying all right, we are hauling you in, they sat with me for about 20 minutes while I composed myself and my blood pressure came up. In the mean time, they sure do know how to distract me... They were all getting a kick out of River, and about five minutes in, all but 1 fire fighter had left my side and was in a circle around him, cracking up... just shooting the breeze. They then told me to relax a bit longer as they took River outside, gave him the grand tour of both the fire truck and the police car that was there... They let him turn the lights on, put on the firemans hat and even sit in the drivers seat (while taking pictures... hehehe) ...I really do wonder what the neighbors must think. All in all, even though it started out scary, it was not really to bad of a day... I did get in trouble for my sense of humor (again) see above photo.
but we have another story and River got to see the big trucks... which is always fun to watch. So.... I felt crappy this week and not much got done around here, but someday soon... maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the next day... but someday soon, I will have a little burst of energy, and on that day, instead of worrying how long it will last or just when Larry will begin acting up again, I am going to seize the day - Carpe Diem! ... I'm going to Disneyland (or something. hehehee) ~ There is no gift like today. Pain or no pain!

On a side note, I will no longer be sharing stories about my extended family or childhood. Though I feel that writing and reflecting on my past experiences is very therapeutic for me, and possibly uplifting to others, I did not think of the effects it could have on others who share in my past. So for that I do apologize. I do encourage everyone to write though... you never know who or what you might inspire! Just remember that you can't reeaaally take back your words once they've been "published" hehe.

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