Sunday, August 9, 2009


This is my first posting, and I thought it should be somewhat uplifting. It was the first entry in my journal that I started once finding out I have End-stage-liver-disease...So I thought it fitting.

"I have always thought of myself to be somewhat manic. Like a child - sometimes I get so excited about something that I cannot breathe.
Yesterday I was driving away from my MSI appointment at UCI Medical. It was a perfect 85 degrees, I had the window down and a great song came on the radio. I caught myself in the mirror -- I was smiling, bobbing my head to the music and yes, HAND-SURFING on the freeway. At that moment my eyes were wide open, mind clear, and I had no pain anywhere. My skin wasn't tinged yellow at all, but tanned brown from our river trip last week....and I was driving home to my son and husband. I couldn't breathe.
--Yet Wednesday I was told that it is in fact ESLD, and I have a 60% chance of not making it past 2 years, 100% after 5 years -- unless I get the new liver that I need. I'm scared, but happy for this moment...This is my inspiration, I have to make it, there is to much beauty out there for me to miss!"

I am 28 years old and I have been sick for so long now....but I don't know anyone as blessed as I am for being able to appreciate how precious and fragile life is...and I would never have been able to appreciate it as much as I am starting to. So there is hope, and I am going to make it. So lets get ready to fight!!


sandiebeach said...

This is so amazing. Thanks for sharing your journey. I will be following right along and praying for you every step of the way. Love to all of you, Aunt Sandie

Anonymous said...

At least half the battle is being able to stay positive and WANTING to fight! Amen to that! You ARE going to get thru this! Damn Rikki, you truly are a strong woman and should be an inspiration to us all!!!! You go that you have a friend here...and I'll be praying you get your liver soon! Love ya!
melissa garcia. :-)

dmg115 said...

I am so glad you went through with blogging your journey and I like that you kept the name "Larry". I am so proud of you, you are keeping in very good spirits. You know I am always worring about you. I am ALWAYS here for you anytime day or night if you ever need to release some frustration, if you need someone just to talk to or if you need a shoulder to cry on. I have always been there for you and I always will. I love you!! You are a great best friend and no offense, but I don't like Larry and want you to hurry up and get rid of him so you can get a better more supportive liver.

JA3RA said...

Great blog entry cant wait for the next. Talk to you soon.

jwa love you