Monday, August 30, 2010

Fancy dinners

I got my AFP test results back today... Now, it doesn't confirm that I don't have ovarian cancer, but it's a good sign that it is not... or at least that it is not far advanced (in my expert opinion). Prior to my transplant, my AFP tumor marker tests were up in the hundreds, (normal level for an adult is under 20) however, today my markers are at 4.5! YA BABY!! They were definitely elevated due to my failing liver! Hopefully I will get more (professional) details at tomorrows appointment to set my mind at ease.
Today, I also realized just how different I have become since before my sickness started taking over my life. Now - no offense to "advanced aging" people, but if you haven't noticed... they tend to be feisty and have more of a "I don't give a damn" attitude. You can tell this by their driving, I really think they don't even bother looking behind them when they are backing up... they're just like, "I'm comin' out!" and then there is the way they dress, either complete comfort or dressed like you may never see their wardrobe again. (in every color of the rainbow and wearing every accessory they own.) tehehee... I say this with love and now understanding. I mean really, who cares!! Live it up... enjoy! Carpe Diem...
I read recently, a woman who in her last years said that her only regret was not making enough mistakes... She led a cautious life. Ate to many beans and not enough ice cream. She would have had more real troubles, but less imaginary ones... --I think of all my stories that bring laughter, like the time me and my cousin went out dancing and got lost on the way home... somehow we ended up on an airport runway. It still cracks us up. Mistakes, adventures, silliness, and bravery make up most of my best moments... and that is what I want -- A life full of moments! In order to do that, you have to be adventurous, not give a damn, and by all means have an open mind. Even in the hospital after my transplant, I realized that my first long hospital stay, I had kept my door closed always, but this time, I left it open - inviting people and experiences in. (simple thing, but I think it says a lot)
Last night, Jason and I were invited out to dinner (which I could have played it safe, who knows... I could get sick or sleepy while out) but we went, I overdressed, and had a great time. To tell you the truth, not only was the company and food great, but it was by far the fanciest dinner we had ever gone to. Which of course I did not mention there, in fear of sounding a bit like a hick.(Thank God River wasn't there... he takes his shoes off everywhere, including all restaurants. tehehee) This was obviously NOT their first fancy dinner. The dessert alone cost as much as what I try to normally order my entree at... but it was gooooood! However, after we got home I thought about it; and even though I would have had a coronary if Jason and I had paid for that meal prior to this experience, It was something that I now think everyone should experience -- at least once. It was such a treat. I personally am a food lover anyway, but to experience such rich, beautifully prepared food was definitely one of my moments.
And to our friends, if you are reading this (and I hope that you aren't. tehehe)... Thank you so much for a lovely dinner... Now give me a goody bag or all of your secrets and inner-workings will be blogged. (Just kidding - really)    

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