Monday, March 8, 2010
Raindrops keep falling on my head...
I love this scene from Butch Cassidy. A song to live by - That Paul Newman was an amazing man as well (and not to shabby to look at) Paul said, "I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness ... let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." Just something to ponder. :)
My pregnancy with River was complicated and slightly miserable to say the least. I realize now that the symptoms I had were actually liver related, but at the time, all I was focused on was getting him out to end it! And all I did was wait. Wait to see my miracle... wait to stop feeling miserable... wait to start our new life all together. What I took for granted, was the experience. (Of course I am now completely used to puking daily, itching, swelling,and pee pressure) which I wasn't at the time, so I will cut myself some slack. Nevertheless, I wish I would have gotten out more so people could rub my belly, taken more pictures, enjoyed the not so sick moments more, because it would be my only pregnancy.
But even that aside, it was 9 months of my life -- and now, I have been sick for almost 2 years (which eventually some doctors may have some explaining to do) but I do not know what is to come tomorrow. Waiting for a new liver and becoming better has started to consume me, but I need to step back now. Learn from previous experiences -- I need to enjoy whatever part of this journey I can. And trust me when I say, I have seen more things through His eyes in these past few months then I had in the 27 years prior. The sun seems to warm me all the way through... the sound of the wind through the trees... and birds... just beautiful! The other day, River and I took a walk and we stopped at the neighbors to pick some lemons (we have permission). I picked a blossom too, just to smell it on the way home. (Thanks to Hot Dog on A Stick) I make some killer lemonade.