Sunday, February 28, 2010

I am Tyler Durden...tehehehe

Did you know that "You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick"?... I don't know if that is true but Edward Norton said it in Fight Club, so it could be. That could be the reason I have been even more nauseous then normal and that I seem to be a tad bit light headed all of the time. I also seem to be doing a lot more laundry and Shout does not always take the blood out. You guessed it... It has been another rough couple of weeks for me. Larry has been bugging me more and more, though it is usually just an annoyance, sometimes it causes me to "hunchback-it" over to the bed and tell Jason... "Momma needs her pill" tehehe. I have also probably traumatized my husband and son to some extent when they wake up to this picture. I know I have stumbled into the bathroom after a nap and have been startled by myself in the mirror. Ahh!! JESUS! It definitely looks worse then it is. So besides Larry hurting, being exhausted, still puking a few times a week, and the bleeding thing, my newest irritation is that most communication hurts my head. Though it makes me appreciate Jason's "quietness" -- the words "You never talk to me" have not come out of my mouth in a looong time. Most everyone else causes pain. One of the games that me and River play is "opposites" he says, Up, I say, Down.... etc. but lately after about 5 words my head begins to hurt, of course it doesn't help that he says words like Rain, and the only thing I can blurt out is... No...Rain? These answers do not satisfy him, and by the end of the game I just want to go to my room and cry myself to sleep. Defeated. Conversations are becoming to quick for me and I am irritated at my processing time. It is hard to be slow and know it. Familiar things are not familiar anymore and my short term memory is gone... My mom had asked me the other day why I always have so many glasses of water sitting around and I had to tell her... because not only do I forget I poured the water (and have been drinking it) but also where I sat it down after, and instead of looking for it, I would rather not hurt my brain and just pour a new one... otherwise I will walk in circles for a while trying to remember what I was looking for in the first place, and only remember once I realize again that I am thirsty. It's a vicious cycle (and it makes me dizzy) tehehehe, but I am sure it is just as irritating to watch.
Anyways, I guess what I am saying is I sure hope this isn't permanent because when I get my new liver I plan on being the social butterfly I once was (giggles) -- shut it, I was! Well, I always had a lot to say, I just never thought anyone wanted to hear it, but as it turns out... I don't only crack myself up, I'm actually kinda funny. And now, I have lost any vanity that I had holding me back!! tehehe. And I hope I still have some friends and family to share it with!

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