WOW! I don't know what to say... I am 29 today!! Not to shabby for someone who has been told miiiight not be around to long more than once! Mwuahahaha... And I can honestly say, this year has been the most bittersweet. I have learned so much about myself and the way I choose to live. We really should not take life for granted. Each day might not turn out the way I plan but at least it turned out, and I am blessed to try again tomorrow. It took me a long time to really appreciate that, despite my health, and each birthday is now a big fat slap in the face of that! tehehe. So I'm celebrating and shouting out today. It's my birthday!! Of course it doesn't hurt that I had the most amazing celebration of life on the 6Th. It also doesn't hurt to think... I have a chance of being a whole new person again soon!
The doctors say that even though this year was the first that I was actually unable to to work, Larry has been slowly sucking the life out of me for many years... And here I was about ready to give up, thinking I just couldn't keep up with LIFE. What a horrible failure I thought I was becoming... slowly starting to forget things, needing naps, (yet we never questioned a 20 year old taking lunch breaks in my car so that I could sleep - That's not odd) I really was in a dark place, and depression was always looked at as a weakness in my house as a teen so I pushed through it. Then when I got out on my own, I just figured... this must be normal, just push, push, push through it (with blood, sweat, pain, and many many tears) All along thinking... man, am I one weak person, is it supposed to be this hard (and painful)? And then finally told..."Ummmm, NO silly girl, it's not!" So now, I am just excited to think of what may come... I feel like a kid again, the world has opened up for me... my oyster (The oyster I can't eat though...promised the doctors. hehe) Energy, pain free days. Wow, who would've thunk it! Best birthday present ever. So yes, even though I am laying here at 4 am with my woobie on the couch because the bed hurts and because it is true, that the one who snores always falls asleep first. I have tissue stuffed up my nose that is partially blocking my view as I type, and Rivers potty chair is next to me. I really am smiling (partially because I think it is sad... and people wonder why I don't want to set up video chat) But mainly because......It's my birthday. DUH! tehehe and things are looking up! -Hey, don't give me to much credit, it's easy to look up from way down here. tehehe. Brighter days baby, brighter days!