It's my birfday!!

WOW! I don't know what to say... I am 29 today!! Not to shabby for someone who has been told miiiight not be around to long more than once! Mwuahahaha... And I can honestly say, this year has been the most bittersweet. I have learned so much about myself and the way I choose to live. We really should not take life for granted. Each day might not turn out the way I plan but at least it turned out, and I am blessed to try again tomorrow. It took me a long time to really appreciate that, despite my health, and each birthday is now a big fat slap in the face of that! tehehe. So I'm celebrating and shouting out today. It's my birthday!! Of course it doesn't hurt that I had the most amazing celebration of life on the 6Th. It also doesn't hurt to think... I have a chance of being a whole new person again soon!

The doctors say that even though this year was the first that I was actually unable to to work, Larry has been slowly sucking the life out of me for many years... And here I was about ready to give up, thinking I just couldn't keep up with LIFE. What a horrible failure I thought I was becoming... slowly starting to forget things, needing naps, (yet we never questioned a 20 year old taking lunch breaks in my car so that I could sleep - That's not odd) I really was in a dark place, and depression was always looked at as a weakness in my house as a teen so I pushed through it. Then when I got out on my own, I just figured... this must be normal, just push, push, push through it (with blood, sweat, pain, and many many tears) All along thinking... man, am I one weak person, is it supposed to be this hard (and painful)? And then finally told..."Ummmm, NO silly girl, it's not!" So now, I am just excited to think of what may come... I feel like a kid again, the world has opened up for me... my oyster (The oyster I can't eat though...promised the doctors. hehe) Energy, pain free days. Wow, who would've thunk it! Best birthday present ever. So yes, even though I am laying here at 4 am with my woobie on the couch because the bed hurts and because it is true, that the one who snores always falls asleep first. I have tissue stuffed up my nose that is partially blocking my view as I type, and Rivers potty chair is next to me. I really am smiling (partially because I think it is sad... and people wonder why I don't want to set up video chat) But mainly because......It's my birthday. DUH! tehehe and things are looking up! -Hey, don't give me to much credit, it's easy to look up from way down here. tehehe. Brighter days baby, brighter days!

My birthday wish: For everyone I know to become an organ donor and spread the word. lets make it so that no one has to wait (and maybe not make it) to start living again! Got your pink dot?