Lucy... You have some e'splaining to do!

How do you accidentally pull out 6" of tubing?

Tehehe, so I still have yet to call the doctor, but I am thinking for sure tomorrow... really this time. I'm just not sure how I am going to explain that I "accidentally" pulled out my darn J-tube. And then tell him, "By the way, I want the G-tube out too!" I don't have a clinic appointment until December 9th, but I am going to have to suck it up and go early because the G tube is just to painful right now and ice packs aren't cutting it anymore. But back to the J-tube, I believe it is the doctors fault it ended up coming out anyway. When all of the stitches (painfully) started popping off, they told me just to keep it taped and it should be ok. Well, it wasn't, it slowly started getting longer and longer, but this last time I had to take all of the tape off to clean it, the tube came out a few extra inches all at once, and those few inches that came out looked all dirty and gross,  so I wasn't about to try to shove that grossness back in. I guess that is just what I am going to have to tell the docs, it is the truth after all... unless I can convince them that a stray dog ran up to me, saw the tube hanging (since the docs put in one that hangs to my knees, instead of putting in what they call a button - which is much easier and less painful to take care of... but anyways) So, this stray dog runs up, grabs the tube and just keeps on running... what?? It could happen. Ok, I'll stick to the truth and let you know how it goes, but for now I am going to get back to bed. I had to get up and make some jello so that it will be ready in case I get sick later on in the night. Nighty, night my friends!!

(Just to let you know, in case you are reading this and have a G and/or J tube yourself... Both of my tubes were placed after my second transplant. Before these stupid tubes, I had a great combined G and J tube that was placed about 4 or 5 inches above my belly button. It was not painful and hardly leaked anything at all. If I would have even tried to pull that one out it would have not only been very difficult but probably very painful. It had to be removed and placed in a different spot because it was in the way for the transplant, but when they put the new tubes in -- or in my opinion, just threw them in anywhere, they only put in a temporary type. I knew this when I removed the one, so basically what I am saying is, don't try this at home. teheheheee)

Not the sharpest needle...

When admitted to the hospital, you usually have an on call doctor come in to evaluate you and write up any instructions or tests they think you should have done... These were the orders the on call doctor gave.

The circulation leg cuffs to your right are usually ordered for patients that are immobile for long periods of time, or those with blood clotting issues... not for patients who come in because they can't stop getting up to go to the bathroom, especially those who when they need to go to the bathroom, need to go fast! I barely have enough time to unplug flo from the wall, let alone bend down to unstrap these bad boys. Needless to say that they only stayed on long enough for me to take the picture. However, I am trying to find a way to rig 'em to work on my shoulders and neck. heehee.

...Now if you will excuse me, the techs are here to do the chest x-ray he also ordered (for some odd reason)

Am I being punked?

I thought it would be entertaining to you to hear some of the funny and sometimes inappropriate things that happen to me while I'm in. I'll just post them randomly.

This one happened the last time I was in (the hospital that is). I had a young nurse who was asking me questions about my sickness. I told her that I have done some things to prepare -- in case I don't live as long as I would like... She had to take it one step further and ask if I had a new mom picked out for my son. Hmmm, No -- I told her, for all we know, I could outlive you. (it wasn't a threat or anything. tehehe) That same nurse later said "ewe" when I tried handing her my bucket of puke while I grabbed for another (as if I didn't feel bad enough already)

Meanies, always giving me tests they know I'll fail....tehehehe

You know, I am definitely more of a kill 2 birds with one stone kind of gal... Since I had noticed a UTI starting when I went into emergency (It's ok, I'm sure I lost any male readers I had a long time ago) anywho, I mentioned it amongst the other "symptoms" assuming they would do a test to confirm... and since I haven't received a call from my General doctor to date, I called him. And besides the fact that I was treated like a hypochondriac for wanting to obey my discharge instructions and make a follow-up appointment, I was told that I should make a follow-up with my GI doctor, not GP. Just like that... I was like, what about all the other blood work? Any infections? what about my UTI? Do I have one? What the heck... "Ok...Thanks for ALL your help... tehehe" CLICK. I am easily defeated when given information from ah-hum ((BIG throat clear)) "Professionals" -- So I called Dr Jamal. I love them anyway... actual empathy; And besides the fact that they are actually going to help me out, she told me something funny that I had to share with you.

Though they failed to do the urinary tract infection test... They did (thank God) remember to do a pregnancy test. Tehehe... I asked her if I should be holding on to hope that it may be positive one of these times... "Umm, No Sweetie, I'm sorry"....  NUTS!! Ahh, don't feel bad for my nurse, she knows my sense of humor.
Sorry guys, no matter how many times I take this one, it's gonna be negative. hehehe.

Oh ya - current weight 124.2 - I've got to get this 6lbs of Ascites off!

Lopez Tonight Photo Bombs!

I just thought this was funny... I had gotten on to George's site to email his show on doing something on Organ donation? Why George Lopez? Well, a few years back George had a kidney transplant. Here is my letter to him: (I know... I have no dignity, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get the word out)

WE HAVE A FEW THINGS IN COMMON GEORGE!! WE ARE BOTH FUNNY MEXICANS WHO HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY ORGAN DONATION.
Ummmm... Ok, so I'm not very funny and I don't know how Mexican you would call me considering I named my son River (that was my funny... hehe) But the one I wanted to talk to you about anyway is ORGAN DONATION!! I am a 28 year old wife and mother who was born with Hep C. Recently I was told that within the next 2 years I will most likely die with out a life saving liver transplant. My liver is failing. 18 people die each day waiting for this 2nd gift of life... and the number is only growing. 3 years ago I had my one and only son, River, who also was born with the Hep C virus. Though I will be his greatest advocate to keep him healthy, if it comes down to the SLIGHT chance that he needs a liver one day too, I want to make it so that organs will not be in short supply. Please help me to get anyone who will listen to do so and Live Life then Give Life. Thanks guys!!!

...So far no response from him (awe) or Ellen tehehehe.

Body Ego - 0 (but apparently, I'm "OK" with that)

Luckily, I place outer beauty lower on my priority list, because someone a little more "body conscience" would leave every one of my doctor visits crying. Let me 'splain with some examples that I have heard within the last few months. Mind you, these are health care professionals.

• "Ewe, what concerns me is the texture and how small Larry is" (Ok... he didn't say Larry, but there was an "ewe")

• "You look pretty dry"

• "Hmmm, I don't usually feel the kidneys from the front...but your so thin and squishy." (I shit you not on that one. LOVE THIS DOCTOR. (really - he's a good doctor, and thorough)

• "You have a fat throat" (And now I realize that out of context that sounds disgusting, but I promise it was completely relative as I was getting an ultrasound of my thyroid.)

• "When are you due" (haha... stupid ascites, never creeps up when there is Maternity parking out front!)

• "Once you have your transplant, you won't have that strange tint to your skin anymore" (Hey... what strange tint? haha)

• "Oops, I thought that was it, but it was just a whole lot of scar tissue" ...I won't mention the "it" she was referring to - but apparently, I don't have one anymore. Just one more of the many things missing.

• "Wow, what is all this scarring from?" (Yes, techs AND doctors have actually said WOW when they see my battle wounds. Luckily I am a weirdo, now gaining some pride in these -- Like my tattoos. (Ok, that is overstating my enthusiasm waaay to much - they are UGLY - but there is nothing I can do about them, so I wear 'em with honor and Bad-assness!) I admit, I am also someone you would see saying, "That's nothing, check this bad boy out!" Although it pains me to think that my bikini days ended early.

Awe, well I am sure I made you laugh, you monster! hehe. All in all yesterday was actually a very good visit. I don't know why I was so worried about the psych consult... I was scared that he would see something in me (a weakness or something) that I was unaware of. Something that would be a sign to him that I wasn't strong enough to go through this, or recover after. It sounds strange, but I figure that someone like this sees a lot of transplant patients, some successes, some not... Is there a secret to those that do well? (besides the medically obvious), a quality they possess? How am I really handling all of this? Strangely... I will now think of Dr Cobb as the nice cookie lady in The Matrix...hehe. He set my mind at ease and I left feeling right as rain. What did he say, you ask? ((Still smiling as it echos in my head)) "What you are facing is going to be extremely difficult, but I have no concerns that you cannot do it -- My only concern is keeping you down long enough to recuperate after the surgery!"

YES. I could've kissed him - He even started the statement with one of my faves "Look, I'm not going to sugar coat this...extremely difficult... yada, yada, yada... you can do it!" ...REALLY! That was it, in a nutshell.

Oh yes, maybe someone can spread some light on this thyroid thing... I'm not to concerned, but the tech said he saw a few cysts or nodules on the left lobe of my thyroid? I'll keep you posted, but I have a feeling my thyroid is no different then a lot of other stuff in my body... There are simply some strange things growing in there. (That is my personal medical opinion and I'm sticking to it!)
Ok, I had to post that before I try and get a little more sleep this mornin'. Finally getting out of the house today... It has been a while since I have not being chaperoned for an appointment, or groceries by my hubby or dad...It will be just us girls chattin' n bakin' for Christmas!!

There is something wrong with Kaya!!

This morning (Ok, around three-ish) I woke up not feeling the best so like most mornings, I went into the living room to lay on the couch. As I lay there wide-eyed, I noticed something and began to panic. I was already feeling a little dizzy, but this -- this justified waking up the husband for (and River too). "Jason....Jason, come out here, there is something wrong with Kaya!" I said. He came out (last year...he would have been VERY upset by this...hehe) and started his inspection. He finally asked me what was wrong with him, to which I replied. "I don't know... He looks all fuzzy." I just couldn't put my finger on it... but something was just not right, my CAT was lookin' fuzzy.
I should have known that all was not right in the land of Ricki when before I even got out of bed, I looked at the clock, noticed light on the wall, and thought to myself-- Wow! Almost 3am and the sun is already coming up... It took a few minutes to sink in. Oh wait, turn the T.V. off and poof! Nighttime again. hehe...

So in case you have ever wondered why some days I'm here and some days...not so much, I go MIA when daily life gets a little ummm confusing. Which today seems like another one of them dayz. hump!

I'm gonna laugh until I cry....

I wasn't feeling to well this morning, and dreading the thought of having to go to the ER again....And that got me thinking about some of my hospital experiences. A few things I have to say first...I have met true angels in the form of health care professionals, people that God had to have sent down for me at the perfect time, but I have also met some that make you wonder...why? Why did this person choose to HELP others? Also, I want people to be aware, I have spent many weeks in hospitals throughout my life, and some times it is only by Gods good graces that I made it out alive...You have to pay attention, question what nurses are doing sometimes, trust your gut always, and by all means, let them know if something is not right! So here are a few stories, don't feel bad about laughing, I laugh all the time, sometimes even when it's happening.

Here is one of the most recent ones...I am still sporting the little bruise from the tourniquet.
--My nurse was angry that day my friends, and I came in somewhat unresponsive via ambulance. She was complaining about the fact that she was overworked and very frustrated that she had to wait for my answers to her questions between my vomiting. She continued to put my IV in for fluids and a catheter in and about an hour later I was sent down to get an ultrasound. While down there the tech found 1. the tourniquet was still on my arm (tight and bruised) and 2. my catheter was clipped (making it pointless) Nice.

--Once, when I had my gallbladder out, the nurse unhooked me from all my little machines, helped me to the bathroom, and then went to lunch....Jason and my mom found me soon after.

--When I had my biopsy, my doctor admitted that she numbed the wrong area. I passed out.

--On my own, I did a little damage myself. My first day out of ICU, (they use different food trays in there - you need strength to push it down...makes sense to me) On the 3rd floor, you need strength to pull it up, so if you push the button in, BAM, it drops right on the tummy that just received 3 surgeries. That hurt, but no harm done and it's funny now.

--When you are on anti coagulants, and the nurse tells you to put pressure on something, don't mess around, hold tight, because it's not fun having to change beds in the ICU.

--When the doctor tells you not to over exert yourself when first re-learning to walk, LISTEN....or you might end up puking in the hospital hallway in your robe because -- the window IS to far over there.

--Those ones were real, now quickly...just to let you know how wicked the drugs are in there, I'll let you know somethings that I realized later, were.....not. hehe
I swore up and down that one of the nurses promised me a milk shake, and the other nurse took it away.
The old guy (Darth Vader's boss) was in my room for a few hours
I was frustrated, because I was tired and the TV was annoying me so I opened my eyes to turn it off, and it wasn't on.
And the biggest conspiracy, was they had a cake for one of the other new moms in the ICU, but not for me...uh huh. I know there are some more, but that's all for now, let me know if you have any stories...hehe