I would love to find a 24 hour Little Caesars and bury my face in a warm cheesy pizza pie right now. *nom*nom*nom...mmmmm. Or Chomps Eel Explosion and crunchy shrimp rolls... Oh man, come to momma. Why my sudden interest in food? I haven't eaten in over 24 hours... and I am all juiced up on Vitamin waters and 4 FREAKIN' LITERS of "draino" (Ok, maybe I technically only got 2 liters down) of the stuff called GoLytely... and let me tell you, "Go" fits -- "lightly" or anything resembling -- should NOT be near this word. hehehe, definitely false advertising on that name, definitely! ...And that's all I am going to say about that. ;) So anywho, last night, upon a "Professional" suggestion I weighed myself at 119 pounds; but today (after the colonoscopy of course) I plan on eating my way back to 122 and then, maybe even 125. Sorry, got food on the brain. I admit that even Rivers story last night kept drifting back to the subjects of restaurants or food-filled events, and a few times I was interrupted with a "Moooom, not that story! The one about River and Lightning McQueen" but he did finally fall asleep... and later today, when he goes to eat his fruit cup for snack, he will find that all of the peach flavored water has been sucked out of the cup already. hehehe (it's ok, I don't like him getting all sticky anyway) ...Besides, he doesn't mind at all. Well, it has been a few foodless and poop-filled days for me over here (I'm speaking literally - not complaining) hehe, and speaking of poop -- A new friend of mine, (a now 2-time LIVEr!! haha... I'm so clever. Yes, he recently had a liver transplant) Anyways, he sent me over his full case of unopened lactulose from his pre-transplant days... happy to be rid of it I am sure. And I was happy to receive. This box would have cost me almost $200.00 at the pharmacy! That's a few months of medicine just GIVEN to me. Angels I tell you, angels! (Although on Jan 19th I have a follow-up appointment where I DO plan on discussing a vitamin plan that just might reduce my ammonia levels, ummm without reducing my body type anymore to that of a wet cat.) I know the doctors say I need it, but there has to be something less draining on my body (hehehe) So wish me luck today, it is another fun-filled day in the life of a cirrhotic... hehehe ((Dramatics)) As far as I know, this is the LAST of my scheduled tests before I am officially accepted as a transplant patient at USC hospital. It may be strange how excited I seem -- but I have spoken to people now who have been handed the same diagnosis as me, but not the same options -- Doctors have found them to "risky" to have a transplant, (not enough spares to go around)... but, they have chosen me!! As long as these tests come back good (and they will!) I will be put on a list with over 17,000 other Americans. Waiting to start living again -- outside of a 50 foot range of my toilet and a pillow (and without a pre-stamped expiration date) that is. And I don't want to speak to soon (I don't want anyone pressured or guilted into it) but God has truly blessed me with some AMAZING friends and family that are willing to see if they are a match for me!! I will have patience though, and trust that God will know the exact time for everything to fall into place. -- I do know that I am exchanging one set of risks and problems for another. I am sure that there will be a constant fear of rejection or fear that my Hep C will come back with a vengeance... but it is a risk I am willing to take to live longer and fuller, if given the opportunity... And I know deep down that if I could, I would do it for anyone of them... and you (ya, YOU) but since no one is going to want any of my bits n' pieces, I promise to do all that I can, the only way I can! I will try to help as many people as possible by spreading the word... getting people to realize that sooo many people are needlessly suffering (THIS IS SOMETHING WE CAN CHANGE!!) just by simply spreading the word! Getting the facts out there! Giving it a face! I have read stories about parents who watch their kids strain to breathe because they need new lungs, or tethered to machines, just waiting. Human beings that can be given new life, just from the act of you saying "YES!! RECYCLE ME!" Who wouldn't want to do that? Live on as a hero to so many people forever... Score a few brownie points with Jesus on your way over... It's a win/win situation... Now, the million dollar question. How do I get people to be aware, let alone care enough to donate their organs? ...And even harder, the organs of a deceased person in their loved ones darkest hours?? ...To much to think about, I have POOPED myself out... and the thought of Dutch Apple Pie is dancing around so strongly in my head right now that I can't focus on much more... except to say, Be warned food -- be warned! ... because tonight, you are MINE. muwahahahaha.